N's Cheerleading Adventure!
by Galefire
Summary: Due to an accident involving an explosion and Ghetsis' castle, N's desire for knowledge ends up forcing him to attend the cheapest school in the district. Problem? It's a school for GIRLS! And when suspicions of his true gender begin to rise, N finds himself stuck doing one of the most feminine things known to man: Cheerleading.


**Oh god... That's the last time I drink grapefruit soda before writing...**

**What... What is this? How I came up with this is beyond me. If you want me to continue, say so. But seriously... This is just... **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. But I wish I owned Gold. ;D **

**... Don't judge me! **

**BTW. N is around eleven years old in this. Just cause. **

**000000000000000000000000000**

Ghetsis let out a long, drawn out sigh as he fiddled with the papers he had between his fingers, light blue eyes studying from left to right. He absentmindedly ran a hand through his oddly coloured green hair, shaking his head slightly. This wouldn't do.

It had been only a week ago that N had begged him to let him go to school, saying something about education being important if they wanted to control the world. Ghetsis didn't really understand what he meant by that. Because seriously, HE didn't go to school, and he turned out just fine, thank you very-

"Wait!" Ghetsis cut in, expression lost. "What is this word? Sedic... Memtamod... Supercalifragilistic... Umm..."

It says 'program', Ghetsis.

"Oh!" He nodded happily, going back to his reading.

Idiot...

Anyways, normally, the green haired man wouldn't have had such a huge problem with N leaving to actually learn about something that doesn't involve grapefruits or canned silver, with the exception of the fact that he would miss the boy's... Ahem, "wonderful" company.

"Wait wait wait!" He looked up again. "What's with the abbreviations around wonderful?"

Well, um, you see Ghetsis, N doesn't really... Like you.

"...Heh?"

Here, I'll show you:

"Yohoo! Natural Harmonia Gropius!" Ghetsis called, waving to his adoptive son.

Natural groaned and cast a bored glance up from the minature train tracks he was attempting to set up. He had always hoped that someday he could set it up so it would keep on going around and around, never stopping for years upon years as him and his loser of a father took over the Unova region, until they would fall apart in an extremely successful game sequel that was the first of its series, with creepy, broken, music box sounds playing in the background all the while, showing the player just how freaking messed up he was because of his dick of an adoptive parent, and winning the hearts of thousands of fans...

...But then again, what did he know? Silly children and there crazy imaginations!

"Ghetsis, why did you chose to name me that?" He muttered as a greeting, setting down a toy train.

"That's exactly what I'm here for son!" The blue eyed man responded cheerfully. "I secretly updated your birth certificate so that your name is forever changed!"

"Is... That even legal?"

Ghetsis ignored him, still smiling. "Okay, so you hate how long your name is, right?"

"Actually, I hate how girly my name-"

"Great!" Harmonia rolled his eyes. "Because I've thought of the perfect solution!"

'Just get it over with...' The boy thought with a sigh. "What?"

"Your new name is..."

"..."

"...N!"

"..." He was speechless.

"..."

"...N?"

"Yes!" Ghetsis said cheerfully.

"...Seriously."

His father nodded, grinning proudly. "You likey?"

The newly named N turned back to his project. "...I hate you."

**::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

"Merry Christmas N!" Ghetsis cheered, handing the small boy a Herdier with a red bow tied around it's neck.

N blinked in confusion as the dog-like Pokemon flopped limply into his arms, it's tongue lolling out, eyes beady and empty. Instead of the fluffy, warm feeling the Herdier SHOULD have had, the creature felt like a cold, dead weight in his hands, lifeless.

"...Ghetsis?" He spoke shakily, starring down at his new 'pet'.

"Yeesss, my dearest son who I love more then anything in the world?"

"...Why isn't it moving?"

"Oh! It's dead!" Ghetsis waved it off like it was nothing.

"...I hate you."

**:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::**

"Happy Valentines day!" Ghetsis cried, nearly scaring the soul out of his adoptive child.

N, who had been so shocked by the fact that his father had just jumped out of nowhere that he had completely knocked over the Lego-replica of a Zorua he had been building, started to pick the prices back up, muttering curses under his breath. "We don't celebrate Valentines day."

"Oh but we do now!" He wooted, waving his arms in the air like a mad-man, which, by the way, he was. "Because I got you a girlfriend!"

N froze in shock, eye twitching. "You WHAT?!"

"Proud of me, eh? Yep! Her names Silver, and she has long, luxurious red hair! I called up her manager, name was Gold or something, I don't know, and he said she'd totally take you! He also asked if you we're into poll dancing, but I didn't know what that was, so I just said yes. And he was all like 'Good! Because poll dancing is a fun activity for the whole family! And Silver just loves to do it, all day and all night..." Then someone yelled his name really loudly, and, well, he hung up pretty quickly, must be bad connection, and-"

"Ghetsis?" N interrupted coldly, trembling with rage.

"Uh huh?"

"...I hate you."

**000000000000000000000000000**

He hates you.

The man blinked. "Huh." Then merely shrugged it off, once again focusing his attention at the task at hand.

Moving on, the real reason why Ghetsis was having such a difficult time deciding what school of horrors his dearest son should attend was because... Well...

He had no money.

"Hey! You said you wouldn't tell!" Ghetsis looked upset, but continued reading.

Fourth wall, dammit!

"Oh yeah!"

It honestly wasn't his fault, how was he supposed to know he wasn't supposed to press the big red button? And besides, the castle deserved to explode anyways!

...Okay, do you wanna know what happened?

**00000000~Flashback no 4, yo!~00000000**

"Ghetsis," Krej, a senior team plasma member said darkly, his hood shading over his eyes as he gazed upon his approaching leader. "The weapon was been prepared."

Ghetsis stepped out of the surrounding fog, gazing upon what had been prepared for his arrival. What appeared to be a missile was attached to a small machine, lights and buttons spread aimlessly across the control panel. The rocket itself was painted a dark, blood crimson, with a few bright yellow streaks running down the side. The green haired man took a few steps closer, starring down upon the weapon, before breaking out into a ridiculously joyous grin.

"Cool! What does this do?" He grinned, slamming his hand down on a large red button.

Krej froze. "No, Ghetsis, wait-!"

But it was two late. Upon impact, the missile was freed from its mount, flying freely into the over-cast sky, leaving only a trail of smoke. Once it was out of eye-sight from the two men, it did a loopty-loop in the air and fell down upon the nearest thing.

And exploded.

And, unfortunately, that thing just happened to be Plasma castle.

Krej starred upon the blackened remains of his home in horror, eyes twitching slightly. Well on the contrary, his master only smiled.

"Oh well!" Ghetsis beamed happily. "Looks like we've got some renevations to be doing!~ Old MacDonald's had a farm, eeh ey eeh ey oh~ With a cluck cluck there, and a moo moo there~ La la la la~" He sang, skipping off.

The plasma member had a mini seizure, before falling onto the ground, unconscious.

**000000000000000000000000000**

As it turns out, that little incident dipped into Ghetsis' funds more then he expected, and now there's no way, no bloody way in all of Canada's Rocky Mountains, that he'll ever be able to find a school he can afford for N to att-

"I found a school that I can afford for N to attend!" The green haired man cheered suddenly, jumping up from his seat and spilling random crap literally everywhere.

Huh.

With a cheer of excitement, the man cupped a hand to his mouth, calling his "son's" name.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN N!"

~*Meanwhile*~

"Finally!" N told his small Zorala, who was sitting paciently on the floor. "Just one more peice and I'll finally finish my Lego replica of Ghetsis getting his head cut off by a wild Linoon! It took days, weeks even, I don't know because I'm almost never aloud out of here, but I finally-"

"NNNNNNNNN!" His "father's" ridiculously loud voice rang throughout the house, so powerful that it somehow managed to vibrate the large project the young boy was working on to collapse completely, falling to peices at his feet.

N looked at the mess at his feet, not sure weather to be pissed off about it, or the impressed at the fact that Ghetsis managed to knock down the entire thing with only his voice. Deciding to go with the first option, he stomped his feet out of his room, saying the only thing he thought necessary.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" N hissed as he stormed down the long hallway that lead to the kitchen, fuming. Once he made his way there, he took a seat at the table, still verbally raging.

"-UUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC- Hi Ghetsis."

"Hello my dearest son!" The man greeted in an over-the-top tone, reaching over to pat his son on the head, who recoiled instantly.

"Not your son..." The green haired boy muttered crossly.

Ignoring him, Ghetsis went on. "You know how you were begging me, and pleading and crying, to go to school? Well-"

"I did not beg!" He protested. "I started to ask you and you slapped me across the face!"

Ghetsis blinked, thinking hard about what had happened.

**0~ANOTHER F*CKING FLASHBACK~0**

"Hey dad?" N began, twitching a little at the word dad. "I was wondering if I could maybe go to sc-"

"STOP WHINING YOU LITTLE CRAPMUFFIN!" Ghetsis snapped, slapping him across the face, knocking his adoptive son to the ground.

**0000000000000**

"...Silly children and their crazy imaginations!" Ghetsis decided with a wave of his hand, causing N to sigh with exasperation. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that... Pause for effect... I found you a school to go to!"

"Really!?" N stood up abruptly from his seat, actually looking excited for the first time in his life. "That... That's amazing dad!" He beamed. "What kind of school is it? Where is it located? How high are the expectations? And... And..." Suddenly, the boy's face fell. "...What's the catch?"

"Catch? Pssh! Never!" Ghetsis said brightly. "Well, maybe one thing..."

N felt his heart sink. "What?"

"It's, well..." The man thought of how to put what was coming next. "It's kind of a school-"

"FOR GIRLS?!" N exclaimed in horror, mouth dropping open with shock as he starred upon the building in front of him. The words "St. Dunsparces Academy for Girls!" was sprawled across the bright yellow walls in a cursive, silver font, shining and bold.

"Aren't I the best dad ever?" Ghetsis asked his awestruck son from the car window.

"...I HATE YOU!"

~***To be continued***


End file.
